Brian Dobbins denies having a party in his shed last Christmas


In a heated debate in the Dobbins' household, the leader of the ruling occupiers denied rumours that 'two or more' people had engaged in workshop-type activity in his garden shed on December 18 last year when Tier three rules were in force.


'I deny that there was any woodworking activity carried on in that shed by anyone other than myself on my own, and if there was any woodworking activity carried on inside that shed by two or more people at that time I was unaware of it,' he stated, while confirming he had the only key to the shed 'since Margaret accidently dropped the spare down the outside drain last year.'


When asked about the wonky gazebo that appeared in the garden just before Christmas with 'lengths of wood that would have been impossible to handle on his own', Dobbins denied there was anything irregular about the gazebo apart from the measurements which made it lean very much to the right whenever any of his household complained about him.


'It didn't get made, and if it did I didn't make it, and if it was made and I was there then it was made with everyone, including myself, socially distanced, which didn't happen as it wasn't made. I've been advised the Covid restrictions were followed strenuously at all times,' he insisted.


Margaret Dobbins, who has previously smoothed the less than tranquil waters of Dobbins' Towers, as the family home is known, broke down into tears when a WhatsApp video was circulated on the neighbourhood group showing her practising denying a gazebo had been made, with the gazebo clearly behind her, leaning so far to the right it was almost horizontal. Mrs Dobbins has now resigned from speaking for the family.


In a separate debate with neighbours the Dobbins' have distanced themselves from the selection of 'tacky gold effect' wallpaper hung in the lounge. 'It was in the remnants bin at B&Q, had been a million pounds a roll but was being sold of for 50 pence the lot,' explained Mr Dobbins. 'Sure it's tasteless, but it's what the missus likes,' he said, denying he'd taken money out of Dobbins' junior's pocket money to pay for it. 'It was just a loan, I didn't know where it came from,' he said today.


photo: https://pixabay.com/users/fietzfotos-6795508/


Get more NewsBiscuit humour on Amazon




258 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All