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Met Office weatherpersons are confident that, despite the current sunshine, rain will follow soon. It’s obvious, said a spokesperson.  It’s nearly Wimbledon and cricket starts soon.  It stands to reason that it’s going to rain.’


Records going back 140 years show that it always rains on Wimbledon, and it always rains on cricket.  Statisticians see a strong correlation between heavy rain and England’s international cricket matches at home.   And there is a similar correlation between heavy rain and the seeding of England’s tennis players at Wimbledon. The higher the seeding, the more likely the rain.


The forecasters are not confident about rain for the one-day international match against Zimbabwe, but they reckon that rain during the matches against the Windies is a dead cert.


For Wimbledon fortnight, they point out that, despite some recent setbacks, Jack Draper is on passable form and fairly likely to make it to the second week of Wimbledon. This increases the chance of bad weather a lot.


A spokesman said, ‘the weather always likes to spring surprises. Our analysis shows that rain is more likely when English players are on the outside courts. As soon as they get onto a court with a roof, then rain becomes much less likely. Although everyone should expect to suffer from a significant depression centred on Wimbledon towards the end of the second week.’








A cricket tour of Australia by a school team first XI from Guildford has entered its 15th year. Due to the achingly slow pace of the sport and the length of matches, there was always a danger that a team somewhere might try and see a tour through to completion.


Head of Tedious Sports at the Royal Grammar School, Jeremy Thwaite said, 'We set out with good and proper intentions. When the first innings of the first match went into its second month, I told the boys to suck it up and see it through. Our strict training programmes at the RGS Guildford prepare boys for long days eating cucumber sandwiches in the pavilion while waiting to bat, and the endless hours of standing around not doing very much on cricket pitches when fielding.


'Unfortunately, the middle three matches of the five-match tour have been declared void as all of the boys were over age by then. But I have had great pleasure watching these boys grow into men. They have, of course, missed the opportunity to receive a tertiary education, begin careers, find partners and start families, but they will always be able to say that they saw this pointless exercise of bat wafting through to its conclusion. Which is, of course, much more important and rewarding than living any other sort of life.


'We're in the final innings of the fifth match now, so we are looking forward to returning home some time in 2036.'


First published 30 Dec 2021


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