Reform to start their own Estate Agency

In what is thought to be a Parliamentary first, Reform PLC has decided to branch out into estate agency work - sourcing, selling and buying properties across the UK.  Well, the pretty bits of the UK and also in Clacton.

'We've branched into selling football shirts, flags and mugs...,' said a spokesman, adding, '...mugs buy them.  And pay us £25 to join a limited company.

'It turns out we've acquired a certain amount of experience in the housing market - our glorious leader has six properties, er, well five properties, well five-ish properties and knows his way around the legal potholes in buying houses.

'He doesn't know about the potholes in Clacton, before you ask,' he added.

'He also knows how to ensure cashflow in a business, or more exactly how to flow cash.  He knows that most tax inspectors are dog-sh!t at their job.

'He doesn't know about the dog-sh!t problems in Clacton, either,' he admitted.

'If you're selling a property then he'll attend to it - unless it means attending in Parliament or his Clacton constituency surgery,' he said.

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Moon will be blue during next lunar eclipse, vows Reform

"Aren't you sick of the moon turning red every time there's a lunar eclipse?" Reform's in-house astronomer asked an almost empty press room, while looking at journalists through the wrong end of a telescope.

"Come closer, all of you. Don't be shy. Just tell your readers this.

"If Britain votes Reform at the next election, our great leader Nigel will personally see to it that every eclipsed moon will be sky blue - Reform's party colours.

"Just text BLUEMOONLUNATICS with a Bitcoin donation to Reform party funds - and all your bank details, for our future reference.

In return, we'll send you a pair of blue-tinted spectacles and 20 ballot papers, all with crosses next to Nigel's name, for you and your friends to use next polling day.

"Vote Reform!" squawked the party astronomer, running around in small circles and flapping its wings, "because under Labour, the sky will very soon be falling on our heads."

image from pixabay

Lego’s new Asylum Hotel set is their most expensive yet.

Lego has introduced its most expensive set this week, announcing the release of the Lego Ultimate Collection Series Asylum Hotel. Priced at £2bn it is Lego’s first-ever item to cost ten figures.

The 9,000-plus piece set means there is no shortage of bricks for their Lego rioters to lob at the Lego Police..

The new set is a vertical diorama set, has more than 15 rooms that depict many iconic scenes from the on going issues, “No Hope,” and “Return of the Immigrants,” according to the Reform Party’s website.

The set also contains 38 mini figures, including Nigel Farage, Lee Anderson and Dame Andrea Jenkyns in a sparkly blue jumpsuit, the company said on its website.

Lego’s previous set that was its most expensive was the part built HS2 railway, a 7,541-piece set which broke all records, costing several million pounds eight years ago.

Roughly 15 per cent of Lego’s sets are marketed for responsible adults, which rules out most of the Reform Party.

image from google gemini