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Exasperated Corinthians receive yet another letter from St Paul

News from Corinthia today as adminstrators for the region check the post and discover yet another missive from St Paul.


"Oh my God, it's another one", said Anastosios Papas as he flipped through the various correspondence, "I can't believe this, he must send one a week. First it was all 'Love they neighbour' and 'worship our God freely' and all that good stuff. You know, that's fine we're a good fearing people. But now it's all, 'have you seen Taylor Swift is getting married?' and 'apparently red wine ISN'T good for you after all! I mean, I like the guy, but 200 years worth of letters is a bit much."


We tried to reach out to St Paul but he was busy writing a letter to the Ephesians to tell then that the Galatians still have their strimmer and are not looking like they are giving it back.


image from pixabay


Protests as God introduces 5G only prayer service





Religious groups around the world have been hit as God has announced that from September, prayers would only be answered via 5G.


Even the Vatican has echoed the complaints; "5G service is quite patchy around here", said a disgruntled Pope, "I was close to negotiating world peace, an end to hunger and Donald Trump being sent prison when I realised there was no signal and only one request got received. So, fingers crossed.



First published 28 Aug 2023



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God admits to planting fossils

There is much rejoicing across the American Bible Belt today as the Earth's real age of 6,000 years has been confirmed by its Creator. 'When you're an omnipotent deity, sticking a few funny animal shapes into rocks is no big deal,' says God. 'Anyone who's read the Old Testament will know that I'm a dab hand with special effects. If I parted the Red Sea then I can easily slip a fake jawbone under a few feet of earth."


God will not reveal what other surprises He has in store, but He does hint at a major bombshell on the astronomy front. 'The solar system is not as it seems,' is all He would say for now. 'It's amazing how easily you can play optical illusions with the cosmos when you've designed it yourself. Put it this way, Galileo's work will soon be back on the Index.'


The Natural History Museum has closed for business after apologising for 'misleading the public since 1881'. Its manager has confirmed the premises will be up for sale 'as soon as we've shifted all those so-called dinosaur bones off to a landfill somewhere'. Experts are forecasting widespread job losses in university departments around the country. Richard Dawkins has admitted his professorship at Oxford is finished. 'But never mind,' he says, 'I have my eye on an upcoming vacancy for Archbishop of Canterbury.'



Picture credit: Wix AI

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