top of page
Search

Liz Truss wins worst memoir of the year, pipping Fifty Shades of Grayling



The worst 'look at me and what I did' book of the year awards have been held in the burnt out shell which was once your nearest hospital. Here are the unreadable straight-to-pulp car crashes government ministers shat out instead of attempting to run a country.



Liz Truss - The Tip of The Iceberg Lettuces


Chris Whatsmename - Fifty Shades of Grayling


Rishi Sunak - The Big Short Trousers (featuring Rishi Longstockings)


David Cameron - First Past the Hogroast


Boris Johnson - Identitty


Michael Gove - Lord Nose (A Snort Story)


Jeremy H Unt - The English Patients Still Waiting (reprinted by the Foodbank of England)


Suella Braverman - A Wish Called Rwanda


Priti Patel - Catch 22 (Asylum Seekers)


Theresa May - Wheatfield of Dreams


Grant Shapps - Me, Myself and Corinne Stockheath (ghost written by Sebastian Fox, forward by Michael Green)


Jacob Rees-Mogg - Stranger Offshores (Eton, Pray, Gov)


Nadine Dorries - Murder in the Deviant Express


Nadim Zahawi - Yougov in the Time of Cholera (HMRC £3 million tax evasion prosecution still pending)


Kwasi Kwarteng - The Day of the Jack All


Penny Mordaunt - The Thatcher in the Eye


Dominic Raab - The Romanians of the Daaaaaay


Thérèse Coffey - War and Piss


Matt Hancock - The Wrong Kiss Goodnight




Government proposes building iceberg and sailing ship straight at it




A Government think tank - The Civitas Alliance for Global Warming Policy Affairs - has proposed spending £150bn building a iceberg in the North Sea then sailing the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier at it at full speed towards it.


"This is the kind of thing that will make Britain great again", said David Campbell Bannerman, former MEP who still wonders how Brexit somehow lost him his job.


"Did you know that the Titanic movie made 10 times what the Titanic ship cost to build? So this will be a sure-fire investment; once I work out what £150bn times 10 is, I'll let you know how much we'll get back."


Liz Truss has suggested that full speed towards the iceberg is "a bit slow". 


bottom of page