As the Covid Inquiry rolls into it's eighty-third year, give or take, Matt Hancock takes the stand for the umpteenth time. Yes, of course he still can't find his WhatsApp messages from that period (but probably can for ten years before and every day since) and everyone is resigned to the inevitable fact that practically every billion pounds his department spent over Covid was to someone who he apparently knew or even occasionally worked for or drank a beer with or shagged. Or possibly shagged not so occasionally. Possibly daily, dependent on the Covid restrictions in place at the time. Or possibly not, it is possible he inadvertently didn't follow the rules he helped shape because they kept changing and nobody told him. Not even when he looked in the mirror.
His big success, apart from his friends' bank balances, appears to be the ring of steel he threw around care homes. Or would have if steel was in plentiful supply, that is if he had a friend or lover or party donor who made steel. Not that steel would have made a difference, it isn't known to have any practical benefits against Covid. So blaming him because the ring of steel he didn't throw around the care homes is just plain silly. And his recollection is that he didn't claim to throw a ring of steel around anything is possibly true, although he could have been talking about a cock ring, in which case it's plausible. Because despite of all the restrictions, rules and regulations he drafted, talked about and ultimately ignored he must have needed something to keep his pecker up during that period. So, yes, he probably did throw a ring of steel around his widge occasionally and inadvertently said 'care homes' instead of 'cock'. Happens all the time, apparently. To victims, not villains, obviously.
