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Reform breaks silence over Nathan Gill

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After two weeks since UKIP MEP, Brexit Party MEP and the former Reform Ltd Welsh Leader was convicted of working for the Russians, taking bribes to push the Russian narrative in the European Parliament, Reform UK leadership have broken their silence, to the disappointment of the British viewing public who were starting to enjoy watching the BBC political programming without having Reform pushed down their throats.


A Reform spokesman denied that Nigel Farage, Richard Tice and Llyr Roberts, who was Nathan Gill's right-hand man in Brussels, were running shy of being questioned about the traitor within the senior levels of UKIP, Brexit Party and Reform.  'Far from it,' said the spokesman, 'they have been carrying out an in-depth investigation to find out why the Russians singled Nathan out to say the things they were readily saying, but paying him, not them.  


'Nigel for one is furious.  He's never knowingly worked for free,' said the spokesman.




Russia appalled that politicians taking bribes is illegal

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The Kremlin is disgusted at the massive mis-justice that Nathan Gill, the former leader of Reform UK Wales, who was always an upstanding gent, is found guilty of long term borrowing of their rubles. He just said a few nice things on their show and made some very valid points that Russia is just delightful and misunderstood. So they gratefully covered his expenses, and this turns out that is some sort of crime? Just wow.


A Kremlin spokesman, John Smithski (possibly not his real name) was asked about the “donations”. Speaking from his ground floor office with mattresses piled outside the windows, he said “Mr Gill looked hungry and a bit sad, is giving desperate MEPs a bit of spare change illegal now? The Russian Intelligence Services expected nothing in return. Absolutely nothing. Giving someone who is needy and pathetic a few quid and receiving no pro quo back is just being nice. Is being nice in Starmers Regime jailable now?”


Putin had always agreed with UKIP/Brexit Party/Reform that a divided Europe would be a much happier place and a strong independent UK would always enjoy a flourishing economy and Russia could look on misty eyed feeling so proud of them all.


For once, Nigel Farage was not available for a comment.




Galloway irritated that he was collaborating with Russia before it was popular

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George Galloway, detained by the UK authorities earlier this weekend, has released a statement noting that he was collaborating with the Russian before it was trendy,


“I was going back and forth to Moscow when it was Chernenko in the seat”, opined a visibly irritated Galloway to assembled Journalists, “All the Johnny-come-lately’s like Orban, Trump, Melloni make me a little sick. Where were you when the wall come down? Rocking out to Hasselhoff, no doubt.


He went to savage Nigel Farage, and in general the Reform party, of cosying up to Putin and Moscow now that Nationalism and Authoritarianism are trendy.


“Even one of Farage’s lot has actually got charged with Russian collusion to be the big man in front of his mates”, said Galloway with a tear in his eye, “at least I’ve be an ‘out’ stooge for years, you lot are listening to greatest hits, you’ve no idea of the deep cuts. I had a show on Russia Today for fuck sakes!”


He went on to snarkily advise his new colleagues to be very wary about being near windows in high rises if they know what's good for them.



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