Paramedics called to attend to an old lady in Shrewsbury today were baffled that, despite confused and disordered speech, she wasn’t showing any other signs of having had a stroke.
”It was bizarre,” said Mike Oldham. “Her face hadn’t fallen on either side, and she could raise her arms above shoulder height, once she understood we were asking her to do that. Yet her speech was slurred and made no sense at all.
“It was only when I saw the webbed fingers and hairy feet that I realised she was Welsh. I sometimes forget how close we are to the border - they do occasionally make it across.”
It’s thought the woman may have become confused by the tall buildings and electric lights in Shrewsbury, causing her to trip and hit her head. However, once she came round paramedics were able to ascertain that, aside from being Welsh, there was nothing wrong with her at all.
The Welsh government issued a statement following the woman’s safe return to her home in Llareggub. Unfortunately, we’ve no idea what it was.
image from pixabay
Writing for ‘The Sun’, Wes Streeting today blamed ‘woke nurses’ and the ‘deep state’ for criticising his plans to smash up the NHS and ignore any views he doesn’t like. With Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves also offering gushing praise for Margaret Thatcher, critics have questioned just why it is that the Labour opposition are inexplicably adopting the same dumb-arsed Tory ideas that created this mess in the first place?
A spokeswoman insisted that, “There are good reasons why we are planning to adopt the entire Tory manifesto. In the Labour Movement we have a long tradition of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, especially after getting everyone’s hopes up.
"Given how profoundly unpopular the Government are, it is only fair to give the Tories a chance by bigging up their idiotic ideas and losing our own supporters in the process.”
In a further sign of their determination to lose the next election and alienate as many of their voters as possible, the Labour Party went on to outline plans to re-introduce chimney sweeps, charge road tax on prams, send all pensioners back to work – and snatch candy from little kiddies.