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Should the Post Office have adhered to some sort of 'postal code'?


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Although other organisations operating on behalf of the state are subject to the laws of the state, the Post Office is subject to its own specific set of laws. This begs the question whether oversight was an oversight, and in what kind of state is the state?


A senior Post Office manager without a leg left to stand on said, 'There is absolutely nothing to hide. The Post Office has been clear and open throughout, and if you don't believe me, just ask our Covert Team in Bracknell.


'Although, you can't actually ask them, of course. Partly because we've always wanted the Covert Team in Bracknell to remain covert, and partly because we openly called them covert. Which makes perfect nonsense, when you think about it.'


For the record, the senior manager was in post before the scandal, remained in post throughout the scandal, but will probably not be in post post-Post Office.




Keir Starmer urged to hand his Knighthood back

Following the decision by Paula Vennels to hand her CBE in after a massive social media storm backed by an online petition signed by over one million outraged citizens, similar calls are being made for Sir Keir Starmer to hand back his Knighthood.  'This isn't politically motivated,' insisted one poster on Twitter whose account had been live for nearly three hours and had zero followers. Similar posts were made by accounts that appeared so new they gleamed.  'Nah, not political, he was the Director of Public Prosecutions when the Post Office made their private prosecutions,' insisted another.


Although the not politically-motivated claim appears to be gaining traction, there appears to be zero support to strip Sir David Calvert-Smith (DPP 1998 - 2003) of his Knighthood, nor for Lord Ken MacDonald (DPP 2003 - 2008) to be stripped of his Peerage.  Additionally, Dame Alison Saunders, the funnier half of the French and Saunders double act (DPP 2013 - 2018) isn't being asked to hand her ermine robe back and nor is Sir Max (Harry) Hill (DPP 2018 - 2023 being asked to hand his Knighthood back (but is frequently asked to refrain from his various TV programmes such as Harry Hill's TV burp).


A government spokesman said the calls for stripping the former DPP of his Knighthood wasn't political and explained the absence of calls for any of the other four DPPs that span the Horizon debacle timeline on the simple fact that none of the other DPPs had, to their knowledge, butchered puppies or personally freed mass murderers.  'If he will go around jailing innocent people while providing his skills for free for people anyone can see are guilty, then he deserves everything the public can be made to throw at him,' said the spokesman.




Public demands more honours returned

Now that Paula Vennells has agreed to return her CBE, the public has got the bit between its teeth.

'There are loads of honours that aren't deserved, just handed out like sweeties to their mates,' said a public who asked not to be named.  'We've got what we wanted from Paula Vennells. Now we want all the useless twats that got honours from Liz Truss to hand those back too - in recognition of the pain and distress caused by Liz Truss and reign of error. I mean, terror. No, actually, error works fine.'


'The list is just embarrassing.  Three life peerages, a KBE and two DBEs, two CBEs, two OBEs and an MBE. That's just mad.  The only one that looks sensible in the whole damn lot is the DBE for Shirley Conran, for founding the Maths Anxiety Trust.  That's as close to an apology as we are going to get from Liz Truss.'




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