Central London was brought to a standstill yesterday as thousands of toddlers marched to Downing Street in protest at the Government’s proposed restrictions on screen time for children and young people
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said London Police Commissioner Sir Mark Rowley-Powley.” “Most marches have a sense of direction, but this one was entirely random. They were meant to be going to Downing Street, but they kept getting distracted. One group decided to have a tea party in the middle of Oxford Circus – they had brought plastic cups and saucers with them. It was quite sweet, actually. They saw a homeless man with his dog and invited him to join them. Another group found their way to Hamleys and are believed to be still in the store.
“We also saw a large group of, I guess, two-year-olds who made their way to the Diana Memorial Garden where they played in the water. They loved seeing the horses.”
Police had to use cranes to pick some boys from the top of trees in Hyde Park. When they got them safely on the ground, two boys rushed at officers and reached to touch them screaming ‘COD! Nazi Zombies. You’re it!!’”
Questions remain about how the marchers got into central London in the first place. Police discovered a line of people carriers near Marble Arch, with drivers who could have been parents but claimed to be Uber drivers. They were all on their phones. There was also a fleet of nursery buses. Police discovered one boy proudly showing an officer a homemade pedal extension.
“I found out how to do it on You Tube,” he beamed. “It’s so cool.”
image from Grok
