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John Healey 'considering resignation' over John Healey's budget

Writer: stewartbarclay
stewartbarclay
Aug 31

Chancellor of the Exchequer John Healey has enraged Secretary of Defence John Healey by refusing to raise defence spending to 3% of GDP.


Healey's offices clarified - again - that Dennis Healey died in 2015, before issuing parallel statements:


'I cannot support my own policy that I completely support. Therefore I must resign in an attempt to force my own resignation thus supporting whatever it was. If that doesn't work, I'll try the opposite. Sorry, what was the question?'


'Look, there's only enough money in the defence budget for me to buy a knife so that I can stick in my own back.'




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Cleaner becomes PM because she's the only gov't member not to have to resign over Xmas party

Writer: Sir Lupus
Sir Lupus
Dec 20, 2025



Following news that the civil servant leading the inquiry into the 10 Downing Street Christmas party has resigned because he also organised an illegal Christmas party, everyone in government - MPs, Lords and civil servants alike - has admitted that they also attended illegal Christmas parties last year, and has resigned. It appears that the only person employed by the government who did not organise or attend an illegal Christmas party in 2020 is Downing Street cleaner Grace Richards, 27, who will now become Prime Minister and form a new government.


The Labour Party was initially approached for this role, but its leader Keir Starmer said that he fully supported the government's action, and so his party would resign also. The Liberal Democrat HQ was on answerphone "following a big night for us", and the SNP said that they had no interest in taking responsibility for "that shambles south of Gretna Green".


Ms Williams said she "would need to have a bit of a think" before announcing her Cabinet and programme for office, but suggested that "taking money out of billionaires' offshore bank accounts and putting it into the NHS, higher wages for key workers, and a lot more buses on the 29 route to Westminster" would be among her key policies.



First published 20 Dec 2021


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