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AI president to be switched off

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An AI generated president called Joe Biden will be switched off for good in January 2025. The software company that created the loveable and almost human president said that maintenance was becoming increasingly difficult and that parts were hard to get hold of.


A spokesman said, ‘Joe 2020, as we call him, has had a good run. He was very reliable until towards the end, when he did become a bit erratic.  He did stumble occasionally due to problems with his gravity sensors, and he made some dodgy jokes due to problems with his levity sensors.


‘We feel that we have taken the development of Joe 2020 as far as we could.  Parts of him are still based on Windows 93 and there is obviously a risk that he could be hacked.  He is also taking an increasingly long time to get going in the mornings when we switch him on. 


'Going forward we will be working with IBM on a new AI president, provisionally called Deep Orange.’


Picture credit: Wix AI / deskpilot

Liberal US celebs compete to be most upset at Trump victory


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A number of liberal celebrities from both coasts of the US have taken to social media to outdo each other in how upset they are about Trump’s victory in the presidential election.


“I spent this morning holding Frasquita, my Latinx maid from Puerto Mexico, and reassuring her she’s gonna get through this,” said one well known teen pop star. “Though only from behind, so she could carry on cleaning the bathtub.”


“I just don’t understand it,” said a famous actor. “How many times have I posted on social media that people who vote for Trump are just, like, total douchebags? And it still didn’t win them over.”


Another celeb, who is presumably an influencer since she doesn’t seem to do anything else, said that until she watched the election night coverage, she hadn’t even realised how many other states there are between LA and New York.


”Though I guess it does explain why it takes so long to fly over them.”


All the celebs then issued routine threats to leave the country they “no longer recognise at the America we love”. A well known bookmaker quoted the odds of them actually doing this as slightly longer than the presidents’ faces on Mount Rushmore being transformed by wind erosion into the four main characters from Gossip Girl.



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