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8m Brits on antidepressants, the rest yet to meet Boris

In the past 5 years, over one million new patients have sort to alleviate the darkness that is Boris Johnson. Said one depressive: 'I didn't know what bottom was, until I saw the side of that Brexit bus. I just spiralled into misery, just like one of his wives.'

With his constant lying and disregard for human life Boris has much in common with Big Pharma. But while rhe devastating side effects of Prozac are well-documented, they cannot be worse than listening to Boris joking in Latin.

Sadly, with Sunak and Starmer voters will still need medication and a very stiff drink. Said one: 'Boris taught me that sober is not an option. Which ironically was also his motto for staff parties during lockdown.'

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