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Alice's Adventures in National Service

'You look fed up with electioneering already,' the Wet Nit said in an anxious tone: 'let me tell you a policy to inspire you.'


'Is it very long?' Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of campaigning that day.


'It's long,' said the Nit, 'but very, very important. Everybody that hears me proclaim it—either it brings the tears of laughter into their eyes, or else—'


'Or else what?' said Alice, for the Nit had made a sudden pause.


'Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the policy is called 'National Service'.'


'Oh, that's the name of the policy, is it?' Alice said, trying to feel interested.


'No, you don't understand,' the Wet Nit said, looking a little vexed. 'That's what the name is called. The name really is 'Modern Culture'.'


'Then I ought to have said 'That's what the policy is called'?' Alice corrected herself.


'No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The policy is called 'Community Service': but that's only what it's called, you know!'


'Well, what is the policy, then?' said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.


'I was coming to that,' the Wet Nit said. 'The policy really is 'Anything To Grab A Headline': and I'm making it up as I go along.'


Picture credit: Wix AI

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