Badgers to vote Reform (because they hate foxes)
- Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
- 3 minutes ago
- 1 min read
A recent poll has shown that badgers are increasingly likely to vote for Nigel Farage after the privileged twit (Check spelling, Ed) declared his love of fox-hunting.
‘They come round ‘ere, eating our chickens’ said Brock (they’re all called Brock, it keeps HMRC at bay), a badger in Sussex, ‘and what does Starmer do? Buys them all dinner! Takes ‘em to the pictures! I tell ya, them foxes better watch aart’.
Badger droppings have been found in High Streets all over England in a coordinated effort known as Operation Shit the Street. Local people tut and walk round the badger poo but have been advised not to confront the badgers as they like a fight. And they’re a bit thick.
Badgers don’t actually have the vote, but nevertheless Keir Starmer has announced plans to woo them. He’s like that. He is also rumoured to be learning to ride to hounds in a frantic bid to emulate his obvious man-crush, Nigel.
Strange times.