The Director General said: 'Some say this is a new low in reporting but I say its a new high in lobbying. As I proudly open the McDonalds/Pfizer/MarlboroughLights School of Independent Journalism'.
Sadly, with the loss of Laura Kuenssberg, the BBC are now short one glorified stenographer.They will now need to find a new political editor who has Dominic Cummings on speed dial and knows the emoji for socialists roasting in hell.
Explained the Head of News: 'We'll be sticking to the BBC's founding principles of dancing on Saturday, no willies before 9pm and something or other about education.'
Unlike the Murdoch funded University of Offal & Outrage, this BBC version will at least have spellcheck. While the school's new moto will be: 'Just tell us what to write'.
