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Boy, 9, furious after Tories steal the collage he made for a school project

Oscar Oldroyd, 9, said 'We were supposed to make a collage of some British things, so I cut out a picture of the King and the England men's football team - I'm 9, so I don't yet grasp the difference between England and Britain. Adults do though... right?'

'My photo of Rishi Sunak was his of weird prolonged laugh when he doesn't want to answer a question - not him trying to look statesmanlike whilst wearing trousers that would fit me. They must have photoshopped that. As a 9 year old, I've lived through 5 Tory PMs and 1 lettuce. Anyway, they stole my picture, I'm lawyering up.'

Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'If that 9 year old lawyers up, we'll leave the ECHR to make sure he doesn't have the right to a fair trial. Then we can throw that pint-sized enemy of the people and his family into a gulag on the Isle of Wight.'

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