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Brand styles that all supermarkets must copy or face chaos and bankruptcy

Spreadable Butter

It must be silver, it has to have that special shape, maybe a play on a Nordic dairy theme and boom, luxury creamy butter containment. If it is not presented like this, it might as well be a yellow turd in a washing up bowl.

Spreadable yeast based sandwich product

The classic brown glass curvy jar, more curves than a knife would prefer to get the last bit out. Get some yellow in there, maybe use a similar font and try to hide the fact you have to state yeast on it without images of infection.

Nut and honey coated flakes of corn

Needs a catchier name, but all the information is there. Yellow box, dripping honey images, gratuitous nut pics. Customers need this comforting look or will think it’s bird feed in the wrong aisle.

Tomato Sauce

Top brand sets the layout, they move to plastic, must copy, they turn it upside down, must copy. Alt brands stray too close, and the lawyers will mess them up, deviate too much and it’s weird and scary for customers.

Liquid for washing pots and pans

You thought this level of sycophantic imitation was limited to foods, wrong, you idiot. The bottle has a certain shape and even the colour green gets to be called Original and must be used by all brands. Too many bulges on the bottle and shoppers will drink it, thousands will die.

At least insect shaped cakes are a calm and reasonable area that never leads to court action.

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