Prince William took the unusual step of speaking out against mass murder in a former British colony, rather than conducting it - his family's more usual habit. To really show he was really serious, Wills then deployed both his chin and a pouty face.
Historian Shelley Stevenson spat out her tea at the news. 'Sorry, did he say against violence? Against? That can't be right. VAR can draw some lines if there’s a clear and obvious error, just like the British Empire liked to draw lines and then let other people deal with the consequences. India and Pakistan, the Palestinian Protectorate itself. How well did that go in the end?'
‘I’ve never pegged Prince William. As a serious political figure that is. Why are you laughing?’
When told why, Stevenson spat out her tea again.