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Burglar grateful you left the radio on

Less of a deterrent, more of an entertainment service, millions of families leave a radio on to fool would be burglars. Said one sociologist: 'This is based on the false premise that all criminals live in mortal fear of Radio Two.'

In fact, most thieves attest to the music relieving the tension of their activity, said one: 'It gets so lonely, rummaging around. Having Ken Bruce's soothing words, really helps you focus on finding Aunty Edna's pearl necklace.

'And can I say a big thank you for the security light. Finding my way through a darkened garden is a nightmare, so I really appreciate the extra help. And thanks for leaving that spare key under that rock by the door, that's exactly where I would have left it.'

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