Carlisle Castle to be put inside giant goldfish bowl
- Jeremynh
- 2 hours ago
- 1 min read
"We can think of no better way of drawing international tourists to the North-West of England," said a spokes-fridge magnet for Visit Britain, "than to build a large glass bowl around the ancient edifice of Carlisle Castle, flood it, and then put in a school of goldfish.
"The castle may have been an important defensive structure in the Middle Ages, guarding the border with Scotland," it continued, "but this is the 21st Century and it must move with the times.
This initiative will put Carlisle on the world map, and be a treat for hundreds of Cyprinidae."
"If they say this is the way for Carlisle to revive its economy, then so be it," said the town's mayor, "but local residents aren't happy at the prospect of living in the shadow of a vast medieval-themed aquarium. We're not Dubai, you know."
Visit Britain has been told it must keep up with all the eye-catching gimmicks coming out of the Middle East tourist trap Dubai, which has just built a life size replica of itself in the desert.
Other schemes for the UK include putting the Houses of Parliament inside a snow globe and turning Keir Starmer into a souvenir teddy bear.