The wrongly emailed document that led to the resignation of the former (and now somehow the current) Home Secretary has been leaked.
'Hi Suella’s Stooge, it's Suella here lol. Just interrupting my busy schedule of drowning puppies and maiming kittens to "accidentally" send this "classified" document from my personal email firstname.lastname@example.org. Having breached the ministerial code on a technicality I can resign. Normally I would just half-heartedly non-apologise and move on, however, I need to concoct a reason to get out before Truss inevitably implodes. That way I can get in a free hit with my resignation letter and pretend that I care about anything other than causing people unnecessary pain and suffering. THEIR TEARS SUSTAIN ME!'
‘I’ll probably be back in 6 months’ time. Make it 6 days – Grant Shapps sucks.’
Image: geralt | Pixabay