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  • Writer's pictureSully

Dad has been humming to himself for 6 hours straight

A family is contemplating phoning the Guinness Book of Records after their Dad has managed six straight hours of non-stop humming.

“We think it might be a record” said his wife whilst practising stabbing motions. “He’s always been a hummer, a tapper and a fidgeter, but today seems exceptional. He started at 8am with Danny Boy, then moved onto a few dirges of his own composition. He’s currently doing Les Mis. I think – they never really sound much like the proper song”.

Childline has confirmed record levels of calls from children ‘driven crazy’ by paternal humming and drumming.

“Oh, don’t mention the bloody drumming”, said his wife, miming a straight-finger jab to the throat. “Air-drumming, drumming his thighs, tapping his toes – God only knows what music is playing inside his head”.

We asked the man for a comment but he just smiled sadly and hummed something which sounded a little like ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’. Then we stabbed him.

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