Doctors warn against listening to Trump while pregnant

Doctors have warned pregnant women not to listen to Donald Trump, as doing so could harm their unborn child.

'Stress and depression during pregnancy can negatively impact on the foetus' said Dr Jane Jones of the New England College of Actual Medicine As Opposed To Speculative Bullshit, 'and there is no surer route to stress and depression than hearing Trump speak and realising this is one of the most powerful people in the world.'

Medical authorities later amended the advice to add that Trump should not be listened to by non-pregnant women, or by men, or indeed anyone ever. They also recommended 'relocating out of the USA to somewhere far away where you'll never hear about him, I don't know, somewhere remote like Greenland.'

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