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Energy crisis entirely down to pointless baking in a tent in the middle of summer

The energy crisis has been resolved with a small tweak to a TV programme format. Viewers can now look forward to the Great British Microwaved Pot Noodle-Off.

Through a thick fog of smug, a government spokeswoman added, 'It's a two birds with one overbaked rock cake scenario. We've also solved the national food waste problem.'

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