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Expansion of London’s UKIP zone goes ahead

Despite fierce opposition, the controversial expansion of London’s UKIP zone took effect at midnight last night.

”There’s no point denying some people still have old-fashioned, almost obsolete mental equipment which gives off a toxic cloud of backward opinions when used,” said London Assembly transport spokesman Timothy Timeserver. “This will simply give them a place to do so without inconveniencing others.

”If they should choose to update their minds at any time in the future, then of course they’d be free to use them wherever they like without paying a penalty.”

However, some have protested that whilst the UKIP zone’s traditional boundaries of Thurrock, Basildon, Romford and Mile End were appropriate, expanding the zone westwards risked contaminating decent areas with verbal pollution.

”Just look at Bethnal Green these days,” said one protestor. “You can’t move for vegan cafes, artisanal bakeries and Pilates studios. It’s hardly the old-fashioned East End, and doesn’t deserve to be treated as such.”

A UKIP spokesman asked for a comment said that he and the rest of his party should be strung up, adding “It’s the only language we understand.”

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