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George RR Martin to finish Sue Gray report

Known as a completer/finisher, the Game of Thrones author has been commissioned to speed things up. Fans are expecting a real work of fantasy, as are the Metropolitan police.

His publisher confirmed: 'George is infamous for killing off characters, but apparently Boris and Covid have already done that. I've told him, it needs to be like the Red Wedding but with more pub quizzes. And not only will it take far too long to finish, no one will like the ending'.


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