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  • Myke

Government could sue itself under ‘Minimum level of competence’ law

As wildcat government inaction brings much of the UK to a standstill, Tory barons have threatened to coordinate incompetence and corruption until their demands are met. Number 10 has vowed to press ahead with a controversial law that will make it illegal not to have a Conservative government.

Tory MPs who lose their seats at elections will be forced to continue working. The Labour benches will be filled by agency staff until shadow ministers agree to stop working too. The government will ensure a minimum level of incompetence by making it harder for the electorate to take action.

Speaking at a picket line outside Parliament, a Tory Donor who owns Conservatives everywhere said:

‘Enough is enough! My members haven’t had a pay cut since 1066, and we’re not about to have one now. We will refuse to stop screwing this country until the electorate agrees to get round the table and gives us what we want.’

Mick Lynch has not commented since he was bundled into a van at midnight.

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