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He has risen!

An 8-year-old boy rose early this morning and plans to spend the entire day eating Easter eggs, it has been announced.

Damien Bratt has informed his parents that he doesn’t want any breakfast, as he has already eaten six large Easter eggs.

He plans to eat several more Easter eggs throughout the morning, in between sugar-fuelled bouts of running around the house knocking things over, while making as much noise as possible.

After refusing to eat his lunch, Damien will eat some more Easter eggs, before rushing outside to jump up and down on his trampoline until he’s sick all over the cat.

Following a brief sugar-crash, Damien will refuel with some more Easter eggs, which should keep him in an annoyingly hyperactive state until well past his usual bedtime.

He will eventually go to bed very late in the evening, but he plans to wake his parents up several times during the night when he experiences a series of terrifying, chocolate-induced nightmares.

Damien’s mother Kate told us, “I hate Easter – it’s worse than Christmas. At least at Christmas there are new toys to distract him from eating all his sweets at once, but at Easter all he wants to do is eat chocolate eggs.”

When asked how she plans spend Easter Sunday, Kate replied, “My sister bought me a Baileys Easter egg, and a large bottle of Baileys to go with it. Hopefully I’ll be lying on the sofa in a drunken stupor before the Songs of Praise Easter special comes on the telly.”

Image:Unsplash/Ashley West Edwards

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