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Home Secretary bans future tense instead of future tents

In an attempt to outlaw rough sleeping, Suella Braverman has inadvertently messed up verbs. A aide explained: 'We'd like to talk about our plans but we can no longer discuss things that haven't happened yet.'

It is not the first time that the Home Secretary's spelling errors have got her in trouble. Previously she had tried to send immigrants to Rwanda - but sent militants to Uganda. When she tried to be tough on crime, she ended up being rough on grime.

Meanwhile all new policies are now old policies. One homeless gentlemen remarked: 'I thought I was the one with no future.'

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