After a particularly intense cheese eating session, the UK has wakened from its slumber, only to discover that the last 44 days were just a fever dream. Lasting just as long as Brian Clough at Leeds, Liz Truss will be remembered as the shortest reigning PM, but the longest protracted fart.
Unable to even unpack, Liz will have left little imprint on the No.10 leather sofa and a smaller impact on British politics. Said one voter: ‘I could have sworn we had a PM after Boris. Forty-four days? I’ve had hiccups for longer.’
Mayflies have criticised Truss’ lack of endurance. An ally commented: ‘I’ve got milk in my fridge that has outlasted her. I think she may have run her campaign on a mobile phone battery. And if it was a dream, it was very brief, but for her the nightmare is just beginning.’