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Make your minds up will you - demand Britain's Red Kites

They're getting in a bit of flap amid Oxford's dreaming spires and it's all to do with Britain's ever-increasing population of Red Kites.

Wallingford Council has started a poster campaign urging its residents not to feed the birds following reports they have taken to copying the behaviour of seagulls and are snatching food from unsuspecting al fresco diners.

But the kites are not happy. Their Spokeskite Kevin told us: 'It's a disgrace and feels like May's "Go Home" campaign all over again. One minute you can't get enough of us soaring majestically overhead on draughts and thermals, the next we're being demonised and shunned. It's all your own bloody fault anyway. You brought us back from the edge of extinction. You started feeding us your leftover Sunday chicken carcases. You upset nature's delicate balance. We're meant to be scavengers after all.'

One takeaway devotee told said: 'It's getting so bad you can't walk down the street with a burger or a slice of pizza on your lunchbreak without getting divebombed and your grub snatched.'

In response Kevin, said: 'Look, I'm not unreasonable. How about a compromise? Say we agree not to snatch Doner Kebabs? Then if you all stick to those we'll leave you alone. And thinking about it, compared to yer average doner, a tasty bit of roadkill might just be a lot safer for us.'

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