MasterChef gets a thrilling rebrand

The BBC has announced that a new series of MasterChef will go ahead despite the huge controversies surrounding the presenters of the cookery show.

A press release states that "once the current edition ends, the only thing viewers will see in the next season will be forks, knives, the occasional spoon and someone in the background shouting 'That is sensational".

Recipes with potential innuendo, such as aubergine delight, sausage frenzy and coq au anything, have been banned by programme maker Banijay.

Judge John Torode will be replaced by a robot (“no one will notice”, an insider insisted) while an illegitimate son of Donald Trump will step in for Gregg Wallace to do background criticism.

“We think this is the way forward for the hugely popular show,” said a MasterChef spokeswoman.

“Concentrating on cutlery has been a long-held ambition of the show. We’re so glad we can do that now.”