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Met Office issues "boring weather" warning for most of year

Following a winter of storm warnings and a summer of heat wave alerts, the Met Office has today announced a series of warnings of "depressingly underwhelming" weather covering the entire rest of the year.

Apart from a few more furnace-like heat waves, most of the summer is classed as "fair to middling". The autumn is forecast to be " dull, damp and slightly dismal", and the winter "tediously cold, but then again not that bad".

"Brits run the risk of running out of weather worth taking about " said Dr Adele Hubert of the Met Office's Cultural Forecasting department. "With many days expected to be " 'extremely average', even saying that it's a bit cold - or hot - for the time of year will be demonstrably untrue."

However, all is not lost. In tests, 6 out of 10 Brits were able to make more than a month's conversation out of just one extreme weather event - and 9 out of 10 could not understand the concept of weather too dull to talk about.

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