Elon Musk will not use twitter to push his crypto holdings up to, say, a cool $60 billion dollars, it was confirmed today. 'Look man, the whole crypto story is fake news' said Mr Musk. 'Why would anyone risk $44billion to make a few bucks? I just want the world to use my filter. Oh, also, did I mention we're launching TeslaCoin next week? Very reasonable, get 'em while they're hot. Thought you might like to know.'
Twitter representatives were unavailable to answer questions, but released the following statement. 'We're busy right now blocking tweets about Tesla supplying the CIA with autonomous spy seagulls' .