Britain is reeling to the shock news that Boris Johnson has an ethics advisor.
David Icke, paused during a book signing of "Prince Phillip was a Wizard the Queen is a Lizard" explained it. "I could believe 5G causes baldness, Prince Andrew is an alien or Australia is a hoax, but this. Someone tells me Boris Johnson has advice on ethics and I'm not having it."
The Ethics advisor himself, Lord Christopher Geidt, is modest about his position. "It's actually a fairly easy job; I simply send the same memo every day which says - 'Whatever you're thinking of doing, do the opposite.' It's not my fault that he ignores it."
Mr Johnson when asked about his ethics advisor replied; "Actually, I know where Essex is - I want to build an airport on top of it."