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Nigel Farage Arrives Into I'm A Celeb on Small Boat

Former UKIP leader and regular beach-pointer Nigel Farage will have to make his way to the I'm A Celebrity camp via the ironic route of a small boat, while avoiding the clutches of the Australian Border Force.

Outside camp, producers for the show gave journalists further details, 'Once we'd stopped laughing at the idea,' said one, 'we decided to make it a reality. Strip him of his possessions, and set him off in an inadequately-powered inflatable with no navigation aids and an unhelpful tide. If he makes it, he'll have earned his £1.5 million, or half what he thinks every migrant to the UK gets.'

Also eager to greet Mr Farage are members of the Australian Federal Police. In a statement, Superintendent Alta-Vista Stern elaborated on their investigation, saying, 'We are urgent to speak with a man from the UK and deliver justice for all Australians. It's not about potential false facts on his visa application, or his finances, or his potential dealings with Julian Assange. We've heard he's come to Australia and brought an apple through customs.'

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