In a statement issued today, Novak Industries have said they regret the decision to add an emotion chip to their most famous product, the Djokovic.
”It just seemed the next logical step,” explained the company’s Head of Product Development. “We’d made it look convincingly human… OK, we never quite got the hair right, but aside from that. And it was beating almost every human opponent at tennis.
”So we thought we’d try and give it the ability to be pleased when it won a point. Or at least, to look as if it was pleased - I’m happy to leave that question to the philosophers.”
Early results were disappointing, however, as the Djokovic began displaying signs of annoyance with spectators and arguing with its on-site technician.
”It’s a classic case of unintended consequences. We should have known better - it was always a disaster when they tried it with Data in Star Trek TNG.”
However, they weren’t optimistic about their chances of ever removing the chip, as the Djokovic declared they could “take it from [his] cold, dead object manipulation peripherals” before breaking down in tears crying “Why does no one love me?”
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