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One famous Palestinian not very happy about what’s being done on his birthday

Remarked the renowned carpenter's apprentice: 'I was hoping for the usual frankincense and Lynx Africa deodorant set. Instead, I got the IDF kicking in the stable door and shooting the wise men in the head. It’s been a month without clean water – and not a Brussel sprout in sight.'

'Normally the worst thing about having your Birthday at Xmas is that you get half the number of presents. Now the worst thing is that there are no children left alive to act out the Nativity. And I was hoping for a white Christmas and all I got was white phosphorus.'

'Easter always used to depress me, because of you know what, but now they’ve ruined Christmas – even more than Cliff Richard. Everyone wants Peace on Earth... except in Gaza it seems.'

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