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Planet Neptune ditching blue colour to avoid links to Tories

Writer's picture: stewartbarclaystewartbarclay


The planet Neptune is no longer considered blue, mirroring the trend of many formerly safe Tory seats.


One alien, Zuflaxizog, said 'Mrs Zuflaxizog and I were pootling around the outer solar system just the other day. We agreed that Neptune and the UK were a lot more blue in the 1980s but that was a false colour.'


'Did you know that Neptune and Jacob Rees-Mogg were both discovered in 1846? And Jeremy Hunt is actually 3 Neptunians sitting on each others shoulders, squelching around inside a fleshy suit - that's why he always has that weird smile. With an average temperature of around -200°C, both Neptune and Rishi Sunak's heart are cold, dark, and desolate worlds.'



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