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Prime Minister to change name to "Rizz Sunak" to court young voters

The Prime Minister came out swinging today when he announced his intention to be known as "Rizz Sunak" for the rest of his administration.

'Call me Rizz, yeah?' said Mr Sunak at a press conference, sparking memories of former PM David "Call Me Dave" Cameron, now a cabinet member. He went on, 'The old dishy Rishi is gone, Rizz is here now and he's going to Rizz up this cabinet. Who's with me, Fam?'

A confused press corps looked confused and slightly alarmed as Mr Sunak appeared to be wearing an enormous hoody with the words "Toriez 4 life" on it; red adidas tracksuit bottoms; Blue Nike Air Force ones; and, perhaps most bafflingly, a beanie emblazoned with the Rwandan map.

After taking questions and answering in a bewildering new accent, somewhere in between Eton and East Ham, Mr Sunak said he was leaving to be with his Cabi-fam such as Dowdz (Oliver Dowden), Shappsy (Grant Shapps) and M-Govs (Michael Gove) pointing out that the latter knows where to get the good stuff.

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