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Protesters banned from using PAs unless swallowed by Kirstie Allsopp

New legislation will mean all protests will need to be politely mumbled. The only way to smuggle in loudhailers will be in the rectum of Kirstie Allsopp.

Having recently swallowed her own AirPods, the TV star confessed she was working her way through the shelves at Currys. Her agent confirmed: 'Kirstie is aiming to swallow seven microphones, a boom box and a flat screen TV.'

What is not clear is if Allsopp is defending free speech or just had an attack of the munchies.

Image from Pixabay by terimakashih0:

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