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Putin unveiled as winner of 2024 Russian election

After Russian President Vladimir Putin announced he will stand again for a fifth term in office next year, the Russian media immediately announced Mr Putin as the landslide winner.

'It is a very busy time of the year,' a Russian media agency told us, 'we might as well get this out of the way now. He's won about 80-85% of the vote too. Incredible really.'

The Russian media is overwhelmingly part of Putin Empire so this reporting is also seen as a cost cutting measure.

'There is a special military operation going on, you know", an unnamed official told us, "every rouble counts! We don't want to be spending money on an expensive election campaign when we can give that money to President Pu......errr our brave soldiers in Ukraine.'

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