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Race for stories about prisoner releases

1 hour ago
2 min read

The early release of some prisoners started today, and this fires the starting gun for tabloid newspaper editors. The race is on to get the first and the best stories about reoffending.


'There are at least three stories here,' said an excited Daily Mail subeditor. 'The first story is easy. We just need to print a story today or tomorrow about any new offence by an early release prisoner. Could be anything. Litter. Jaywalking. Shoving a reporter. That's easy.


The second story could take a little while. That'll be the first serious offence. Ideally, it will be the same offence that they were banged up for in the first place. So, littering won't cut it for the second story. Jaywalking, which isn't actualy a UK offence, is a possible, though. If there are more serious offences, then there's good stories in that. Maybe on page three or page five. Unless it's really serious.


'And the third story is 'Why oh why did Andy Burnham force this stupid policy through?'. We've already written that one. Actually, we've already run the story more than once, but the readers won't notice if we use it again. They just lap it all up.


'Sorry, that's all. I've got to go! There's news about a prisoner in a local park, and he's only half a mile from the kiddies playground with his parole officer...hold the press!'




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