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Recently discovered giant Pliosaur not eligible for UK residency, rules Sunak

The skull of a colossal sea monster that was unearthed from the Jurassic Coast that was due to go on display today has been ruled as ineligible to remain resident in the UK. Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, ruled that whilst it may not have come here on a small boat, it still entered the UK illegally via the coast without going through the proper channels.

"Whilst the Pliosaur may pose no immediate threats to resources in the UK", Mr Sunak told us, "it is quite obvious that it gained entry to the cliff face illegally and concealed itself 150 million years ago using British soil and shale resources. We must remain solid and vigilant to abuses of the system. There is every chance that the ancient sea monster came through French waters before settling here in the UK. This is unacceptable."

Mr Sunak also mentioned that there were plenty of indigenous, British fossils that require attention, study and housing at British museums. He did not accept that the facility to apply for asylum in the UK would not be built for another 150 millions years after it's death citing that whilst waiting lists were a worry, they will become manageable in the coming months. 

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