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Republic of Ireland seeks veto over unification

With the Northern Ireland Assembly led by a nationalist for the first time, and many predicting a vote on Irish unification within 10 years, politicians in the Republic have said it might be nice if someone asked their opinion about it.

'People talk as if this only affects Westminster and Belfast,' said a spokesman for Fine Gael. 'But what makes them assume we want to take on responsibility for the north?

'You've got two of the maddest bunches of mentalists the world has ever seen. The unionists will be more pissed off than ever if unification happens, and you can’t tell me the nationalists will just disband and go home because they’ve achieved their aim. This is Ireland, after all - they'll find something to feel aggrieved about.

'OK, if it came down to it, we’d probably bite the bullet - ideally a hypothetical bullet - and say yes. But it would be nice if someone at least thought to ask.'

Meanwhile the British Prime Minister said he was opposed to a united Ireland, because without the role of Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, he’d have to think of another way to punish colleagues who’d seriously pissed him off.

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1 Comment

Feb 06

'You've got two of the maddest bunches of mentalists the world has ever seen.'

Having (unfortunately) spent a fair time working there, yes, they are.

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