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Research concludes Russian elite 'prone to falls from really high buildings'

A report printed in Nature has analysed the likelihood of tripping up and falling out of a high-rise building, a phenomenon generally considered unlikely due to building regulations around the world making accessing the exterior of high rise buildings extremely difficult, as evidenced by Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible episodes 1 - 10.

'We concluded that, in general, a person could trip up in virtually any high-rise building in the world and suffer, at most, a broken nose and some embarrassment, but apparently for a subset of persons of Russian origin, particularly those who had risen to the top of political, scientific or military stature, the probability of tripping, breaching glazing units designed to withstand a tree accelerated at speeds associated with tornados using only their unusually pre-crushed skulls was related to their public and possibly private misgivings about the special military operation in Ukraine.

'Luckily this phenomenon appears to apply only to the Russian elite,' concluded the article author who is survived by his spouse and two children following a tragic fall from a high-rise building alongside his Nature editor.

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