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Rishi to heat swimming pool from GCHQ servers

The Prime Minister has accepted that paying to increase the local electricity infrastructure for his personal swimming pool in his constituency home at a time when swimming pools up and down the country are being closed due to lack of funds might be deemed inappropriate and, well, perhaps a little insensitive.

'The Prime Minister did pay for everything himself, and used local immigrants to build the swimming pool,' argued a spokesman today,' but in the event he feels that he's in a no-win situation. It's not like the Prime Minister can expect to use the local swimming baths for his morning swim flanked by armed bodyguards with waterproof Glocks strapped to their legs, even if it was actually open, can he?' he asked.

But the news that a Devon swimming pool has successfully managed to heat itself using the waste heat from a washing machine-sized server has inspired the Prime Minister to do away with using the local electricity grid and to use the waste heat from the GCHQ servers, turning the story into a green success story instead..

'It's not as though this heat is being used for anything else, so the public will be pleased that it is being used, and the minor two year delay to HS2 while the contractors focus on digging a cable trench from Cheltenham to Richmond is a fair price for the country to pay,' the spokesman said.

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