The Conservative Party has agreed that removing health and safety rules designed to protect workers from brain damage, by not insisting on wearing safety gear when working at height, has levelled the field. 'There's evidence, anecdotal evidence, from someone no-one has ever heard of, that UK roofers working on UK roofs were being undercut by foreign workers working on foreign roofs not adhering to the same health and safety rules.
'Clearly it was advantageous for UK home owners to take their houses over to the continent to get their roofs replaced by bare-headed if occasionally brain damaged roofers, then shipping their homes back to blighty,' said a government spokesman. 'Now you can get your roof replaced for £200 less than you might have done, as long as you are prepared to pay a £500 excess if any worker gets injured working on your property and you have insisted on them not wearing the right head gear, and who wouldn't?' added the spokesman.