Following the sad news that HS2 will stop at Watford Gap Rishi Sunak is to announce a bold new plan to level up the North by providing an additional two players per rugby team.
‘Look, we know that places with fifteen players per rugby team do well and places with only thirteen are grim hellholes with, you know, Greggs pasty shops and women pushing prams in their pyjamas. We’re going to transform these towns with twenty seven hundred billion pounds of Government money to provide two extra players per team’.
Economists agree that rugby union towns are more prosperous than league towns so the plan is economically valid, though some have questioned whether twenty seven hundred billion is an actual number.
Labour would like to announce a plan to level up the North but every time they say something Fiona Bruce asks them for a fully costed proposal, which kills the mood somewhat.
image from pixabay